You know you're addicted to blogging..ie. Live Journalling.. when

You Know You're Addicted to LiveJournal When...

If you can't access the site, you have a minor freak out - and a major case of hitting reload. You found yourself composing journal entries during dates, movies, When you're out, you suddenly think of a witty reply to a comment somebody made to you... several days ago. You actually call it LJ and not Livejournal. Check. You've downloaded some sort of LJ program which has only the purpose of making entries easier to write without going on the site manually. You consider it a great offense if someone deletes you off their friend's list. The first thing you do every day when you go online is check your friends journals - even before checking your email. You actually paid money for a few extra pictures with a full account when you could actually just alternate pics when you want to for your screen icons. When your friends ask what's new, you get mad at them because you already wrote it in your LJ and they didn't check it yet. You have put more time into LJ than all your assignments for the semester. You have more friends on LJ than in real life. You've met at laest 50% of your LJ friends. You can't seem to call your friends by their real names - only LJ names will do. You've fallen in love with someone you met on LJ. You have posted about a party or get together on your LJ... and random strangers showed up. You are guilty of traveling more than an hour to meet someone with LiveJournal. (Extra points for traveling five hours or more) You've written a protected entry about one of your LiveJournal friends. (Extra points if they eventually found out about it) You have written posts to notify people you're going to sleep. You talk about your LJ friends to your real life friends all the time... like they're a part of your group. You've created a LJ community, and people actually post in it. You've been recognized in real live by a fellow LJ'er. You have friended someone because of their LiveJournal icon. You have "pity friends" on your list, who you would defriend if you could. Instead of doing research, you post difficult questions on your LiveJournal. Your pets all have their own LiveJournals. (I like dis one!) You know, right now, how many people have friended you (without peeking). You've stopped being friends with someone in real life because of something they've said on LJ. You have consoled yourself after a horrible day thinking "At least this will make a great LJ post" You're jealous of people who have more friends and / or comments than you. You have written a really great, solid post - only to be disappointed by the lack of good comments. You're guilty of commenting excessively to get more traffic to your journal. You've deleted a post a few minutes (or hours) after you've written it, because it seemed lame in retro spect. You give shout outs to all your LJ friends on their birthdays. You have an additional, secret journal that hardly anyone knows about. You've broken up with someone - or ended a friendship - soley via LiveJournal. You have gotten mean anonymous comments (bonus points for figuring out who it was via their IP) You've been reported (or reported someone) to LJ Abuse. You've been featured on LJ Drama. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are LJ addicts.

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The Path to Glory

What is our path to glory, but the path of
tribulation, of suffering, and of death? Our
Lord and Master, in the expression of His
wisdom and love, forewarns us of this: "In
the world you shall have tribulation."

When temptation assails,
when care darkens,
when trial oppresses,
when bereavement wounds,
when heart and flesh are failing;
who throws around us the protecting shield,
who applies the precious promise,
who speaks the soothing word,
who sustains the sinking spirit,
who heals the sorrow,
who dries the tear? Jesus!

And when the spark of life wanes, and the
eye grows dim, and the mind wanders, and
the soul, severing its last fetter, mounts
and soars away, Jesus, in that awful moment,
draws near in form unseen, and whispers in
words unheard by all but the departing one,
now in close communion with the solemn
realities of the invisible world, "Fear not;
I am the resurrection and the life. He who
believes in Me will live, even though he dies!" [Octavius Winslow] |

Lesson to be Learned

Pay Attention!

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Send E-MAIL now!!

Have infiltrated his address! I didnt send this of course, but do send the dear ole popish pope a message! He loves fan-mail.

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You Are a Beagle Puppy

Cheerful, energetic, and happy go lucky. And you're sense of smell is absolutely amazing!

I had to smile at one of the questions on this. it said; what is your best natural talent. And out of the several choices, one of the answers was "My photographic memory"! Of course!!

I do have an amazing sense of smell though! |

On Eagles Wings

I have always been of the belief that life and circumstances, do not dictate who we are of what we do. Even years ago along time before conversion, having already endured more in life than most people would in a life-time, both through illness, and an abusive past, I always had a cheerful disposition. Crying and tears was not something to be done, except in rare circumstances, perhaps the loss of a loved one.. man or dog. My smile could and often still can, hide a thousand fears and terrors. And the crying of these days, I've come to understand, is not a self-pitying kind of crying, its a combination of I just can't stop, even if I can't say what about at times, ones brain has reactions that can stir that up in us, physical reactions. Lack of oxygen, blood supply or both. Depression often being the first symptom to appear in any neurological illness. So, I no longer beat myself up, for being a wimp. I lay my tears and my heart and fears before God. If sometimes that carries on for fourteen hours or so, then that's just the way it is. And yet, its still possible, to even while having our heart set upon God, to feel in your own private corner of hell. And a smile may make it better for the distant passer by or on-looker, but behind the smile, is a broken anguished spirit.

24 hours:

The last day, has been a mixture of varying degrees of hell on earth. The bodily pain which the normal meds didn't do a lot to ease, followed by morphine and still in far too much pain to find any comfort can be hard to endure. Especially when simple things like lying in bed cause too much pain, so you can't sleep. The bat flying around my room. Shadows that seem to move towards you and startle you, but on closer inspection, nothing. Itching so much that when one does sleep, you wake up with your flesh ripped in several places from scratching while asleep if able to sleep at all because the itching is so bad. And this morning, I woke and knew a head event, which are normally vascular spasms had taken place. I couldn't physically speak for several hours on waking. And I prayed, knowing God hears my prayers, and I praised Him, while longing for this to end, but knowing its out of my hands. And the voices that never sleep. they start as a whisper, you can't quite make out and then they arrive. They utter obsceneties all day long, and use things or turns of phrase or bring to mind several events that can only serve to torment one. And I don't say this for pity, pity I don not need. Understanding tho is something else. I'm a weak, sinful human being. All the above I've endured alone and its ongoing. Hearing obscenities uttered or tormented by other means that the voices normally find, when alone, is not helpful to ones spiritual life. I wonder if its me. Someone who never cusses, how can I have these voices which come from within my own mind, actually using words I never would, or never have? I can't even read if the Tv is in the background, the same goes for living with these voices that never sleep. Sometimes they are brief, yet sometimes they can continue for a whole day and nite and beyond.

And yet, I've endured the above for over 24 hours now, alone in my physical world as far as humanity goes. And I still know that the God of Heaven is my God, and He will get me thru this. As the last 24 hours has been its own unique brand of a private hell. So, I post this here, knowing many of my friends read here, and also knowing many of them pray for me. I still believe one can rise above ones circumstances, I believe everyone should. May God have mercy on a wrectch suchas me, and give me eagles wings. |

How old are you?

And I feel so sick again tonite, another question would be, how old do you think you could be when you die? 15! And as always when like this, are totally alone in the human world. Dying seems more of a possibility when this bad, cos it ain't as if I can pick a phone up and call a doctor for medical help, as they don't have a clue what to do when I've done so other times. And so it can run its course, without any medical intervention to stop or halt it. I'm heading back to bed till this has passed, if it does. Whether that will be a short while or a logn while, only the Lord
knows. I have a bat flying round my room, every time I look at it full on, it disappears.

As for this brain, that has been both my blight and delight in life in many respects, I'm with Mr Feeble-mind:

"Since I have nothing to bequeath to anyone, what would be the purpose of making out a will? As for my feeble-mind, I'll leave that behind me, for I'll have no need of that in the place where I'm going; nor is it worth giving to the poorest of Pilgrims. When I'm gone, therefore, I desire that you, Mr Valiant, would bury it in a dunghill." [Mr Feeblemind as he prepares to cross the river--Pilgrims Progress]

O DEATH, ROCK ME ASLEEP

Anne Boleyn

Death, rock me asleep,
Bring me to quiet rest,
Let pass my weary guiltless ghost
Out of my careful breast.
Toll on, thou passing bell;
Ring out my doleful knell;
Let thy sound my death tell.
Death doth draw nigh;
There is no remedy.

My pains who can express?
Alas, they are so strong;
My dolour will not suffer strength
My life for to prolong.
Toll on, thou passing bell;
Ring out my doleful knell;
Let thy sound my death tell.
Death doth draw nigh;
There is no remedy.

Alone in prison strong
I wait my destiny.
Woe worth this cruel hap that I
Should taste this misery!
Toll on, thou passing bell;
Ring out my doleful knell;
Let thy sound my death tell.
Death doth draw nigh;
There is no remedy.

Farewell, my pleasures past,
Welcome, my present pain!
I feel my torments so increase
That life cannot remain.
Cease now, thou passing bell;
Rung is my doleful knell;
For the sound my death doth tell.
Death doth draw nigh;
There is no remedy.

You Are 15 Years Old

15 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

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Us Brits are Sooo...

"Suave, debonair, and charming" (to quote a yankee doodle friend) Not to mention, technology advanced!

When the British were asked what they thought was the most significant technological advance of the past 40 years is, what DO you think we said? The Interent? Email? Click here and all will be revealed! |

English Porphyrics and Boston Tea Parties...

Well, King George III was on the British throne at the time that America fought for Independance. And I think its in the genes, since Porphyria is the most likely answer to what is wrong with me, and seem to have started a few Boston Tea parties of my own over the years!

From:

KING GEORGE III. PORPHYRIA. PORPHYRIA IS A HEREDITARY DESEASE CAUSED BY INSUFFICIENT PRODUCTION OF HEMOGLOBIN. SYMPTOMS OF THE DESEASE INCLUDE PHOTOSENSITIVITY, STRONG ABDOMINAL PAIN, PORT WINE COLORED URINE AND PARALYSIS IN THE ARMS AND LEGS. THE INTERRUPTION OF NERVE IMPULSES IN THE BRAIN CAUSES PSYCHIATRIC SYMPTOMS ALSO, AND IN ADVANCED CASES OF THE DESEASE EPILEPTIC CONVULSIONS OCCUR AND THE PATIENT EVENTUALLY LAPSES INTO A COMA.
GEORGE III, BECAUSE OF THIS DESEASE WAS CONSIDERED INSANE. HE WAS THOUGHT INSANE AT A TIME WHEN TREATMENT OF THE INSANE INCLUDED ABUSE. THE KING SPENT A GREAT DEAL OF HIS LIFE IN ISOLATION, OFTEN KEPT IN STRAIGHT JACKETS AND BEHIND BARS AT WINDSOR CASTLE.

The treatment of this desease unfortunately has not advanced a great deal since the days of King George. Even diagnosing it is vastly overlooked. I spent many years incarceerated in the nut house, thought to be a hopeless schizoprhenic, and one way or another oddly its only thru my illness that i've been vindicated to a great deal for those years. I would like to say it wouldn't happen in today's modern world, yet I can't. But a nine year old child being given the label of schizorhenic and then to go on to lose around 15 years inside mental hospitals, is another form of abuse when its through medical mismanagement and mis diagnosis. So, for those who've heard me speak out strongly against the psychiactric system, then it is with just cause. This is a small compressed vdo clip about the King and his desease. And despite how physically ailed I am, with everything that has gone before, yes, I feel as George did, when I feel head stuff kick in, "I wish to God I may die, I'm going to be mad." To paraphrase a quote by someone or other on death, its not the dying that worries me, its the bit in between. (click the play button on the console. its not great quality, but it was for compression sake)

And now I have stuff to do, but if the two minute warning for nuclear war goes off, I'll be playing my harpsichord!

Click HERE to watch or download the video.

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So disappointed, sniff. The orginally spocky has just been called only "somewhat" logical.GASP! Not BOB you know! I saw these blogthings on Gogh gurls blog. And they were right up my street. And for someone whose always been convinced they would die the same age as Elvis was when he died, since Elvis died, 67 is an improvement.

You Are Somewhat Logical

(You got 25% of the questions right) Ok, so didn't get the majority of questions right But you did answer some pretty tough questions correctly Logic may not be your strong point, but you hold your own!

How Logical Are You?

You Will Die at Age 67

67 You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

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3/16/2005 09:38:00 pm :: ::

Crazy Calvinist :: permalink

Alone

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were - I have not seen
As others saw - I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all l lov'd, I lov'd alone.
Then in my childhood - in the dawn
Of a most stormy life was drawn -
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent or from the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold -
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by -
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(when the rest of heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

('Alone' - Edgar Alan Poe)

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When I consider how my light is spent
John Milton

When I consider how my light is spent,
Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask; But patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at His bidding speed
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait." |

Feedback on blogger/

Do any other blogger, bloggers, (Am NOT NAME CALLING!!) know how to search blogs and blogs rings on blogger? As some of you may know, I used to have more than this one blog on blogger, (lol..ahem) but, looking over at Xanga rings, they look like they have far more rings that would be of my interest. I have no plans at all to ditch this blog, (HA!) I will die first!! But, are just looking at other additional options, and have yet to figure out how to search blogger for catagories. |

Random, Disjointed musings

The unlikliest of people invade my dreams at times. Some folks I know well, at least online keep insisting on turning up in them, and often those dreams are so funny you'd think they were scripted. But often its variable. Last time Jerry, AKA Mr Raging Calvinist turned up in my dreams, he moved my cooker, and I still waiting for him to put it back!! But awhile ago, in an unlikely turn of events (as far as DJ's dreamland goes) a reader here turned up and they and I was riding a bicycle. And since I have no idea when I will be able to get myself out and about again under my own steam, I would be very grateful if they would get one of these!!

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You ever feel?

"Blessed be the name of God forever and ever,
to whom belong wisdom and might.
21He changes times and seasons;
he removes kings and sets up kings;
he gives wisdom to the wise
and knowledge to those who have understanding;
22he reveals deep and hidden things;
he knows what is in the darkness,
and the light dwells with him.[Dan 2] |

But as when the wedding of ole Big Ears and his noddy was announced on the BBC, as one woman asked for an opinion said: "One lady gets stabbed in the back, another one gets to eat her cake."

It will never be proved of course. Heck, the Queen's father had a brother who was what we would call today mentally handicapped or learning disabled, and the royal family could not cope, so they had him sent away and he died while still young. And only one of the Royal Family, Prince George stayed in touch and was fond of him. I tell you, I treated my dogs better!! "Wilko" will be so pleased!!

I hope this vdo works for slower connections, I am not a vdo editing expert.

(give a few seconds for "play" button on console to become "active" then click it)

If connection is too slow right click HERE and save it to your hard drive. Tis about 7MB.


Click here to view movie or right click and save it to hard drive. Works best in Internet Explorer |

Acceptable Sacrifice

"When the calves are set up in Dan and Bethel, it is under the pretence of the name of God, even of the one who delivered his people from Egypt [1 Kings 12:28]. Yet, since the worship established there is repulsive to the teaching of the law, God condemns all who go there to pollute themselves.


"So, let us hold to this rule, that all human inventions which are set up to corrupt the simple purity of the word of God, and to undo the worship which he demands and approves, are true sacrileges, in which the Christian man cannot participate without blaspheming God, and trampling His honour underfoot." [John Calvin--from his Anti-nicodemite writings]

[edited blog]

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Well, I've said about..

becoming one of the stupid people before...

And sometimes this illness leaves me gasping just how much. I usually manage at some point to have a rip roaring laugh about it with someone or other, and they normally end up laughing harder than I, but my latest venture:

A little while ago, I joined Amazon.co.uk DVD rental. Its ideal when housebound and a lot less expensive than local rental stores. They send the discs in envelopes and you use the same envelope to send them back. You just seal it up the reverse way. Well, my first discs last month went a littl wrong. As my DVD playeer busted, and a disc got jammed inside never to be seen again. The remaining disc (they let you have two movies at once) I put it in the disc holder, then in the above mentioned envelope, and asked someone to mail it off for me. Next day the disc came back, as I'd not reversed the envelope and actually remailed it to myself! But as me gran used to say, tis no use being daft unless you show it. Or as my good bud Mr Gump says:

I'm sick(er) and been in bed most of the day, but whether it be death, desease or any assault or affliction under the sun, are trying to keep the thought of William Wallace, that all of us may be imprisoned by our bodies, and sometimes mind, or a host of other things can chain us, But CLICK HERE

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