The Deathwatch

 I was reading on my friend, Jerry's blog a day or two ago,  about time, and how it is a little like the death march.   And how true that is.   

Time is a funny thing,   one may not have any real sense of it,  much as I don't, yet its ever present pushing on.  

The last week or two,  I have an absolute ton of things I want to be a good way to accomplishing over the coming weeks,   and yet time in the habit of how it has to trick people,  I can spend an hour,  (sometimes more)  of valuable time,  decided which  of these things to turn  my attention to first on any given day, and feel slightly (no extremely) over-whelmed. 

I have commented to friends this last year,  that often when thinking of time,  and what I would like to accomplish,  it now sets off panic buttons,  knowing that time does not seem to be on my side.  And that aspect  will often be enough to pause before taking anything on that will take time and energy and an ability to see it through.     None of us knows the day or the hour,  yet we do know  its nearer than we ever thought possible.  If only through the natural aging process. 

Days,  turn into weeks,  and weeks into months.   And hours seem to pass by without any real memory of anything during them.   It will often only be when looking at a clock at about five am,  I realize I should have gone to bed some time ago.  My internal time clock is off,  and in some ways such as the above instance,  it can be a negative thing,  in extreme cases being not conscious in the minute to minute living of time, of it passing,  helps one forget in the bigger picture.   As  through issues that  don't seem worth worrying about,  (if you can't fix it don't fret over it)  whether it be memory or thinking on any real level,   I have to live in this moment.   As that's all I'm sure  will stay with me.  Some things stay,  yet most of it within an short time,  is not even a distant memory it is something that happened,  to someone else.   Someone mentions something,  and you have a vague recollection,  yet you don't remember details or facts,  and its easy to feel like it is a third party event. 

A short while ago, The Death Watch Beetles name came to mind.    I didn't really know what it is,  apart that they make a strange noise and went looking:
We all have that death watch beetle tapping  its knocking out.   Just most of the time, most of our lives,  we are and remain oblivious to it.   But tis true that old saying.   Time waits for no man. 

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deathwatch beetle        

Any wood-boring beetle of the family Anobiidae, especially Xestobium rufovillosum. The larvae live in oaks and willows, and sometimes cause damage by boring in old furniture or structural timbers. To attract the female, the male beetle produces a ticking sound by striking his head on a wooden surface, and this is taken by the superstitious as a warning of approaching death.

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 I have to say here,  these answers may seem a little strange,   but at the same time,  perfectly plausible too! And as someone whose sole contribution to music, is to harp on about this and that, you can see why I'm well impressed!


Impressive huh? 

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Weird Music Exam Answers

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Supposedly-real answers collected from music exams.

• The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.
  
  
  
• It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.
  
  
  
• Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.
  
  
  
• Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.
  
  
  
• All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.
  
  
  
• Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.
  
  
  
• Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.
  
  
  
• A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
  
  
  
• Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.
  
  
  
• Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.
  
  
  
• Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.
  
  
  
• A harp is a nude piano.
  
  
  
• The main trouble with a French Horn is that it is too tangled up.
  
  
  
• An interval in music is the distance from one piano to the next.
  
  
  
• The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.
  
  
  
• Agitato is a state of mind when one's finger slips in the middle of playing a piece.
  
  
  
• Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you'd better not try to sing.
  
  
  
• Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.
  
  
  
• My favorite composer was Opus.
  
  
  
• Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
  
  
  
• Henry Purcell was a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.
  
  
  
• Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concertos.

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Deep Ponderization of the Day!

Is that I have spent the last thirty odd years not normal and proud of it. And now, would like to be but are not normal by anyone standards! (tho not in the same way!) But guess it appeals to my strange sense of irony.

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. "
-- Steve Landesberg

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Hamburgers and Rootbeer

To find out the truth, about Hamburgers and Rootbeer play the small movie by clicking "play" in big red letters at the bottom of the right hand side scroll bar.

You'll never think of hamburgers or root beer the same again! |

Fact about the headless Roache...Ewww

Useless info.. But still true!!



A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it
starves to death (creepy.)









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More Children's books that didn't quite make it!

I wonder why not?

. Some Kittens Can Fly.

That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption

Grandpa Gets a Casket

. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

Strangers Have the Best Candy

Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way

You Were an Accident

Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will |

The chip mystery

I just found a microwaveable meal in the freezer which was basically a mixed grill including chips.... who ever inviented the oven chips knew little about food methinks. They are soft, soggy and not a bit like what I call a chip.

A chip should be golden, crisp and just slightly crunchy.

Chips were not meant to be made that way!! Tis against all the laws of nature!!



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The I.Q. Cycle

I've been trying to get into a test your I.Q. site for days... I mean I know they would all be mental midgets compared to moi...but each time all I end up doing is going aruond in a cirlce, hitting buttons and basically eneding up back right where I started.

I think that getting into the site, one needs an above average I.Q.!



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Total Depravity of the Internet

Well, we all know the Internet has some very, very bad things about it, as well as a tremedous amount of good. But if you're like me at all, when you think of the bad, I tend to think of porn/sex and stuff. Luckily apart from my experiences when first getting webcammed and not being the most savvy person out there as to what I may come across, (my next experience with a web cam..as I pronto got rid of after that!) is to have KFC with Beth's daughter! but the only time it tends to be a problem personally I find is pop ups which my pop up blocker now stops for the most part....But...

A few months ago, I was watching a documentary on anorexia nervosa.... and was somewhat shocked that there were website dedicated to feeding" (no pun intended) these girls young women's delusions about being fat, and advise for how to be anorexic and hide it etc, and basically helping them starve themselves to death. And now are somewhat more horrified, or just as much anyhow, as there are websites out there which pray on young or vulnerable people to help them commit suicide. They teach them exactly the best way to do it, how to hide they are planning this from their family. And even stuff like how to infect oneself with HIV and how much of the virus one would need to successfully infect etc... its horrendous.

And there's not much at all can be done about policing these sites. There was a middle-aged couple on the talk show I watched whose son had committed suicide with the help of these websites. He had never been suicidal or depressed in his life, six months after getting involved with these sites he was dead.

There are only three categories apparently here at least where legal action can be taken for policing websites. Pornography, racism, and can't recall the other one. But nothing related to the two above.

Tis pretty sick tho all the same.


Jeremiah 17
9 The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?


[NIV]
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Name That Tune!

We all have songs we love to hate. And songs we hate to love.

Was ponderizing, what may constitute the five "worst" songs in living memory. And some of them are on the love to hate list, and some of them are on the hate to love list.

Jimmy Osmond: Long Haired Lover from Liverpool

Joe Dolce: Shaddupa Ya Face:


Boy George and Culture club. Do you really want to hurt me. (to which I used to holler..yes badly!)

Bellamy Brothers: If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me:

Helen Reddy: Angie Baby

Any that spring to your list not here?

~Deejay |

How Long O'Lord

The first command of the Bible to hold a promise:

Honour your parents

This seems to be one of many mountains that is impossible to get to the top. Tho my living parent has never done anything sinful or heinous to me more than any other human being has to another, the fact that they are almost 86 and yet could outlive me, and know if that does happen that this situation of so long is still likely to be a source of pain/grief, makes continuing going through the motions seem like a Herculean task. Every time one senses you see a change, a softening, and each time that has proved folly, tis like a kick in the teeth. And cos of no involvement, distancing themselves, and basically just not being there on any level apart from physically, when young, and still now, feel empty and void of affection towards them. We can't make ourselves love another human being, just cos they happen to be related to us. People of short acquaintance in some cases, perhaps just a year or two, there is a bond of affection that is just not there for this person who has always been there and should have that. But when you have been so very sick for over two years, and the illness will no doubt kill you, (at least on current known facts) and you live with someone whether they be a parent, a spouse, a friend, or anyone, but they persistently wound you by lack of care or love, it seems all hope is lost of ever feeling anything but irritation towards them. Yet, know my God commands it. An act of love is loving someone, it doesn't have to be done with feeling. How many of us would watch and not help a stranger in the street in trouble and not go to their aid. that would be an act of love, yet not done out of any love emotion towards the stranger.

Yet even despite this, the fact that I stay and have stayed all these years, is probably the biggest witness to unbelieving friends who can see the situation for themselves without me saying anything. They think me a martyr, for putting up with now and the last x number of years. They don't see the bitter tears of hope dashed once again. And anger that never quite is able to express the pain without the anger of years of neglect and uninvolvment and passivity, and things happening that may otherwise never have. And knowing that if not for the things that did happen, I may not have been labelled mentally ill. And may not be so sick now. Every time these wounds open, I trace them all back to if they had been there, and cared anything, the future may look better, as the past in the way it did would never have unfolded. And I don't generally live a what if life, yet do go down this route in this situation.

Sometimes my words are sinful to them, through anger that seems impossible to hold onto any longer, and a pain that never seems quite to die. I want them to feel some of what they have made way for me to feel. and know this is my flesh warring against any bit of good that maybe there. But each time the anger erupts there action as always is denial. Denial of reality or any involvement they have played. They agree to shut me up and walk away, rather than try to discuss and further any chance this relationship has. As long as everything in their garden is rosy, everything is fine and dandy. As soon as it over-flows to affect them even slightly through wrought emotions, its easier for them to treat me like an irrational, crazed mentally ill person, than a human being who they are a source of ongoing and continual pain through being in denial. And is the only living person who can bring out the wish to die to not remove me from my pain wracked body, but from the situation here in this "happy home" my constant cry to God, is How Long, O' Lord. How, Long. And try to find shelter under His wings.


Psalm 27
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.



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Useless info this Day

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)
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Lists lists and more list..but this one is kewlO

Don't you hate lists? You make one to go to the supermarket, with all yuor grocery items on it, get to the supermarket and find you forgot your list?

But this one is different:

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Childrens books that didn't make it..


1. You Are Different and That's Bad

2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

3. Dad's New Wife Robert

4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share

5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It
Book

6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking

7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her

8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

9. All Cats Go to Hell

10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
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I hope one Day We can Say...

As I was going through the park the other, day, I observed all the people walking with a companion, maybe a child, a friend, a neighbour, a lover, a spouse, a work-colleague.
I began to wonder just how many times that collection of human beings I was observing had ever been offended by those they were walking with, and if so, were they still holding a grudge deep down.
Collectively, I suppose if I would have polled all those folks, the number of offences and grudges probably would have been quite high.

The question in my mind was, "If they were to put the offences on the scales of justice and balance them against all the great things that had happeend with the offender, would the scales balance out?
Probably not. In fact, the scales would most likely lean heavily in favour of all the great things they had experienced in their relationships with folks down through the years, the talks, the laughter, the discussion, all the wonderful experiences that happen between people in a relationship.

So, why are they still holding onto grudges? Why do they insist on hanging onto and dwelling on the negative things which have taken place in relationships, especially if they are so heavily outweighed by the positive things.

I don't know the answer to that question.

I just hope, before all is said and done, we can all look in the mirror and come to the point where where we can say, "Its over, its done. I'm leaving it all behind."
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Deep Ponderization for This Day

Of course, it may seem unfair that this life ends in death. But that's when the party begins! |

Beware!

The great blagger of blogs is back! And even more crazy than before! I hope to blag on my blog within a short space of time!

I was actually recharging my brain, which for a genius, can take a whole long time!











And here is the evidence of just how alive and on fire my brain has got with all that recharging! |