1 BTA day out of 7-- A Good week?

"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die." Robert Cody

BTA= Better than average. I make it up as I go along!

Has this week been a good week? in some respects yes. And yet, in feeling any sense of well-being physically due to this dratted desease, one better than average day all week, and many of them worse than average. (i guess that would be WTA)

Back to throwing up on most days, and in the kind of body wracking pain, that makes one think there must be more to life than this. Going to sleep with exploding heads, which the most likely cause is either seizure related or perhaps a vascular spasm, and waking up ready to take a swing at king Kong if he showed up, as those head explosions always without exception, alter mood and outlook on waking.

Friday was the better than average day. I will think about Friday. I liked Friday. I got alot done around here, when a few hours earlier cos of how things were physically the odds of getting them done had seemed to be stacked against. A friend visited with his little boy, whose nine or ten, and it was just fun to be silly for a while. On average days, it can be an effort.

Tomorrow is the Christian Sabbath, and with increasing things stacking up in the way one feels about coping and surviving from day to day, it seems providential that it is tomorrow, where I can recharge and hopefully survive another week intact. A friend said to me that he thanked God how i had grown the last three years, despite everything, and that my life was bearing witness to Job 23:8-12.

8 "But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. 9 When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. 10 But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. 11 My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. 12 I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.

And I do often feel the Lord is hiding from me and can't be found. The times of feeling abandoned are some of the hardest i know. Even if things are no worse than average physically, if spiritual afflcition sets in, then the rest seems impossible.

But one thing I do know. Is I won't give this up, won't roll over and play dead. As long as there's breath in my body, even in the blackest of days, somewhere, there's a song in my heart to be sung.

If someone asked me the question right now, is life good? I'm not sure I could answer a simple "yes" from tonites perspective. But is life worth living, and too precious to abandon in the folly of despair? Yes it is! It would seem a bitter irony that when every day seems a battle to survive physically on some level, for despair to remove the want to survive.

And I know that there is more far beyond this life, and I may sow in tears at times, but Jesus said 'Blessed are the poor' and "blessed are they that mourn.' The Kingdom of God, does not start when we leave this earth, its here now, and, anyone whose experienced that will know, that the second part of blessed of those that mourn is so true. "For they shall find comfort."

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Rocket Milk

Organic?

Well, some folks know since finding out that there is very little doubt what ails me that I am on the trail of govt funded poisoning!! (all govts of the globe) yesterday, there was that story on rat poison killing young children. Click here: Now, today, it is Rocket fuel in water supplies

Rocket fuel chemical found in water, produce
Federal agencies detect traces of chemical across country
Wednesday, December 1, 2004 Posted: 10:26 AM EST (1526 GMT)


WASHINGTON (AP) -- The government has found traces of a rocket fuel chemical in organic milk in Maryland, green leaf lettuce grown in Arizona and bottled spring water from Texas and California

What's not clear is the significance of the data, collected by the Food and Drug Administration through August 19.

Sufficient amounts of perchlorate can affect the thyroid, potentially causing delayed development and other problems. Full Story |

One year on.

Well, when I first started this blog, I had no idea what a blog was! I saw Beth saying she didn't intend to pontifcate on a blog she had then, and I figured that I would then very much likel TO Ponitficate! But, I forgot!! This blog was a year old on the 1st of the month apparently. Thanks to those few faithful souls, who come by and have stuck thru the rants and stuff, May God bless her and all who sail her! (the blag that is) And have no idea why i said that, except it sounded very English!!

And thought to mark the occassion, a short poem would be in order. Rather then me frightening everyone away by singing!

How happy I was if I could forget
To remember how sad I am
Would be an easy adversity
But the recollecting of
BloomKeeps making
November difficult
Till I who was almost bold
Lose my way like a little
ChildAnd perish of the cold.

By Emily Dickinson

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Stoopid is as Stoopid does.

What Is Stoopid?

Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid. Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)

I have always felt quite intolerant of stupidity, or people who may be what used to be termed slow, or mentally handicapped. And I guess this feeling was somewhat reinforece with being friends with a guy for seven years, (my best friend at the time) who not only had little patience with them, but he treated them disrespectfully, such as putting them down, lording it over them in a grand manner cos his brain was intact. It always struck me as somewhat of an irony tho, that this guy a paraplegic, and one of the leading campaigners here in Birmingham for equal disabled rights didn't extend the same courtesy to those who were less able in thinking or brain matters. I was never disrespectful to the folks who were challenged in that way, but wouldn't go out of my way, to assist them either. As A) my male friend would have made fun of me. And B) It always struck me that because of a past of long life brain issues and other factors which all aggravate the same organ, that I could've been just like that. And at one time did (wrongly)have the label of mentally handicapped. There but for the grace of God, go I. Some stark reminders hit just a little too close to home to allow us to stay in our comfort zone I think.

And yet, my hero of the movies is that great loveable chump, Forest Gump. Stoopid is as stoopid does, and over-coming all the odds. But, not an evil bone in his body compared to most of humanity.

And yet, as ones own body is attacked by several things combined in one desease and your head is full of neuro toxins which do affect cognitive ability, you find yourself losing abilities one thought one would take for granted for many years yet. And the fear of you may be actually be becoming on of the "stoopid" people of the world, is a fear that can't be shook. And yet, to be even intimated that someone thought you stupid even years and years ago, would be the one thing that would get the river of tears open. So, I'm after the definition, of what is stoopid. Its my quetion of the current time. I and I'm sure everyone can think of many forms of stoopid that is altogether different from the thing I am meaning here in the use of the word. But how one would one know if one is stoopid. you'd probably be stoopid to know!!

I don't know. Other people never think of people like me as stupid, yet this fear is just one of many that almost paralyzes at times, by the fear of what could happen. I remember seeing the poll over the years many times over, "If you could choose between losing your mind or losing your pysical ability which would you choose." No one chose to lose their mind. And yet Alzhemiers is on the increase in an ever increasing dangerous world to live in with any chance of staying healthy. I also saw a report the other day on the BBC site, that obese women stand more chance of devoping alzheimers and losing neurons. Another report said Chronic pain can make ones brain shrink. i am certainly not fat, but the pain is a factor.

This comes up from time to time, when I find through various reasons that simple tasks I used to take for granted now take great puzzlement and time to figure out how to. Computer tasks that once took 20 mins now are often a four hour job. And sometimes, trying to find answers, or understandingn about any particular thing, you have the intelligence and brain power to do it, yet all the bits of the brain involved to help you get to that place do not all kick into action together it feels like and you are left wavering with more questions than you started out with and nowhere near finding the answer you were after. Even a moment of ponderizing and one can't find the word you know so well. The few moments word blindness changes what you were ponderizing about and you completely lose the plot as well as the word, and when you find the word, teh plot don't seem to matter!

I'm not sure what the solution is, but the question is still, "what is Stoopid."

Forest Gump Quotes.

Bubba Blue: "You ever been on a real SHRIMP boat?"
Forrest Gump: "No - but I been on a real BIG boat"

Lt. Dan: "Have you found Jesus yet Gump?"
Forrest Gump: "I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him - Sir!"

Coach "Bear" Bryant: "Who in the hell is that?"
High School Coach: "That there is Forrest Gump, coach - Just the local idiot"

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Sleepy time South

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internet spring cleaning

In 1997 an email message spread throughout the world announcing that the internet would be shut down for cleaning for twenty-four hours from March 31 until April 2. This cleaning was said to be necessary to clear out the "electronic flotsam and jetsam" that had accumulated in the network. Dead email and inactive ftp, www, and gopher sites would be purged. The cleaning would be done by "five very powerful Japanese-built multi-lingual Internet-crawling robots (Toshiba ML-2274) situated around the world." During this period, users were warned to disconnect all devices from the internet. The message supposedly originated from the "Interconnected Network Maintenance Staff, Main Branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology." This joke was an updated version of an old joke that used to be told about the phone system. For many years, gullible phone customers had been warned that the phone systems would be cleaned on April Fool's Day. They were cautioned to place plastic bags over the ends of the phone to catch the dust that might be blown out of the phone lines during this period
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Govt's are killing us!

I saw this posted at a friends yahoo group, and ever on the rampage to stomp out toxins, I am posting it here. Our govts, (not just the American but world-wide) are killing us, our kids and threatening a future of ill-health, disablement and death, to many people who are unaware now, and may continue to be until tragedy strikes! And yet, they will wrap us in the nanny state mentality in 'case we harm ourselves" as referenced here

EPA'S BACKROOM DEAL WITH CHEMICAL COMPANIES TRIPLES RAT POISONING RATE IN KIDS

Sign Petition to Reinstate
Rat Poison Safety Measures!
(your info will not be shared - privacy policy)

In 2001, the Bush led EPA struck a deal with chemical companies to remove two important rat poison regulations designed to protect the safety of children. Specifically, the safety measures had required rat poisons contain an ingredient that makes the candy-like pellets taste bitter to kids and a dye to make it more obvious to adults when a child has ingested the poison.

As a result of no longer requiring those safety additives, the nation is now seeing a record number of children poisoned by the toxic pellets. This year more than 50,000 children were poisoned by rodenticides, which is three times as many as were affected prior to the removal of safety regulations.

According to a recent article in the Los Angeles Times, the EPA met five times behind closed doors with representatives of the chemical industry, which ultimately resulted in the removal of the safety regulations. From Please follow the link and sign the petition.
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Mind The bollards

Now aren't our Royals sooo loving?

Police officers guarding Windsor Castle are getting extra training - because they keep wrecking cars.

Officers keep raising the steel security bollards as vehicles pass over them, reports the Sun.

Shocked drivers end up 3ft above the ground, impaled on the anti-terrorist device.

One elderly tourist got a nasty shock when he sat down for a rest on a raised bollard which was promptly lowered, sending him crashing to the floor.

Police have had to pay out thousands in compensation for damaged cars.

From Ananova

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look away if a Bush supporter

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. Ronald Reagan

Bush Jogging

George Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said: "I sure would like to go to Disneyland." George said: "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One."

The second kid said: "I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George said: "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!".

The third kid said: "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!" George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says: "But you don't look like you are injured."

The kid says: "But I will be after my dad finds out I saved your hide from drowning!"

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My Hero

The Caped Canine! George Clooney, eat your heart out!

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