God only is the creature's home;
Though rough and strait the rod,

Yet nothing less can satisfy

The love that longs, for God.

How little of that road, my soul!
How little hast thou gone!

Take heart, and let the thought of God

Allure thee further on.

The perfect way is hard to flesh;
It is not hard to love;

If thou wert sick for want of God,

How swiftly wouldst thou move.

Dole not thy duties out to God,
But let thy hand be free;

Look long at Jesus, His sweet love,

How was it dealt to thee?

And only this perfection needs
A heart kept calm all day,

To catch the words the Spirit there,

From hour to hour may say.

Then keep thy conscience sensitive,
No inward token miss:

And go where grace entices thee --

Perfection lies in this.

Be docile to thine unseen Guide,
Love Him as He loves thee;

Time and obedience are enough,

And thou a saint shalt be.
[Hannah Whitall Smith] |

Churchless in UK--Purity in Worship

I am for the first time since my conversion, churchless. And have been for almost a week. Some of my friends who read here know I've been having problems reconciling certain things of God's Word with many modern church practices including my own for a long time.

For me, leaving aside any personal differences, the crunch came when after a week of extreme ill health, I felt pressured (unfairly) to attend worship last LD. it is now Friday, I am still recovering from the exertion of going out. Sunday night I couldn't get out of my wheelchair and into my bed till six am, I didnt have the strength after being out, and wasn't able to eat beyond a bag of crisps for two days afterwards, as again i didn't have the strength to make it.


The deciding factor came however, when sat in church on the Lord's Day and feeling deathly ill, to hear during the service the exhortation of modern things within worship which I don't believe would have been said if not for the personal differences I was already having with the folks there. But its one thing to feel in the valley of death a good deal of the time, its another to feel so while you feel you are taking part in just by being there and therefore contributing to sacrilege. I'm not one of these people who think if we die with just one sin unrepented of, we won't go to Heaven, but, when one feels so deathly ill, you don't normally go out of ones way to commit or take part in sinful things, and when just being there, made it feel so, its an impossible situation.

I may live with death and disease both prominent in my life. One as a possible because of the other, and yes, I mess up the same as anyone else and get it wrong, but the whole scenario of that event being in God's sanctuary and His house, has now made it impossible to ever contemplate going there again, much less desiring to.

And this has reaffirmed my belief that doing something no matter how small, that is sinful, for the greater good, should not be contemplated or even considered. I stayed at my church the last time I felt I should leave, thinking of the greater good, it led me down a road, that for a little while bought more conflict than ever.

Anyone who disagrees with the compromising on sin, for the greater good, I suggest reading Jeremiah Burroughs Evil of Evils. --Sin vs affliction, and how one should always choose affliction rather than sin or rather than trying to sin our way out of it.

But one thing I do know is, God led me down this road the last few weeks, as it was not outside of His control, and in doing so, He has reaffirmed almost everything I've learned from Him the last several months on different things to do with the Christian life, by almost everything in the whole scenario of my place of Worship, being a testing of the stuff learned. And I can walk away without regret, knowing in doing so, it is the right thing to do, and what God desires of me. And despite the conflict and hardship felt over the last few weeks with this, I'd rather leave this side of it, with no regrets and knowing its right, rather than leaving while somewhere inside wondering, was it the right thing to do. |

God's Creatures

GASP!!

Bunny Haven!

My blogroll be put back shortly. Blogger is having java problems hence I removed it temporairly |

Operation Parallex

In 1979 London's Capital Radio announced that Operation Parallax would soon go into effect. This was a government plan to resynchronize the British calendar with the rest of the world. It was explained that ever since 1945 Britain had gradually become 48 hours ahead of all other countries because of the constant switching back and forth from British Summer Time. To remedy this situation, the British government had decided to cancel April 5 and 12 that year. Capital Radio received numerous calls as a result of this announcement. One employer wanted to know if she had to pay her employees for the missing days. Another woman was curious about what would happen to her birthday, which fell on one of the cancelled days |

Disabled or Dead?

[Edited Blog]

Does this sound like the actions of a loving husband? And if so would you give your life and death decision if married to a man like this purely because he is your husband?

This is Michael Schiavo's demonstration of love towards his wife:

Denied her speech, swallowing, and other rehabilitation therapy;
Denied her parents visitation with Terri for as long as five months at a time;
Had her two cats euthanized in preparation to move in with his girlfriend who had a dog;
Admitted in a deposition that he took Terris engagement and wedding rings and made them into jewelry for himself;
Brought girlfriends to Terris bedside;
Refused to permit doctors to give Terri antibiotics when she developed a urinary tract infection;
Refused to have her teeth cleaned for several years and five had to be pulled as a result; and
Refused to have her wheelchair fixed and permit Terri to be taken outside.

---

When man sets himself up in law apart from that of God's law, tyranny always rules. Which is why we have millions of unborn babies murdered because the law says its legal. And why the case of Terry Schiavo was allowed to end as it did. And why, the vulnerable in society whether the unborn, the elderly or the infirm, will always have their rights taken away from them. Tyranny has to end with people doing so. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

---

Terry Schavo revisited: In the wake of her death

if anyone had have asked me, as an epileptic with severe brain dysfunction in earlier life, if at any point in time, you are physically incapacitated, will you want to live as a disabled person, or do you want to set it down in writing that you want to be allowed to die, or even actively helped to die, my answer would have been resoundingly, "heck yes. Life is bad enough as it is. Any worse would be unbearable, let me out of here."

We can all make decisions about what we think we would do, what we think would be best for us, in a certain given situation where the situation is a hypothesis rather than a reality. Are we so blind as to think, that every disabled person who has ever thought they would rather die than be disabled, does not now as a disabled person live a happy, fulfilled life in a way they had never imagined possible from the vantage point of being Able-bodied?


Doctors need to re-evaluate the disabled community. And not base their decisions on when it is the right time to end a persons life be influenced by the fact that they are disabled. The disabled community themselves should have a say in these matters and the decisions which so affect them. A statistic that cannot be cured, and therefore costs money to keep alive and yet will not be able to contribute in the way someone able to work with no limitations can, is no reason for anyone to make a life-ending decision.. Statistics, financial or otherwise should not de-evaluate a persons life.

The Hippocratic oath says: Full text

"I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help."

Preserve being the optimal word here. And I will NOT play God, which is exactly what is done when hastening someone's death.

If someone is not terminally ill and will not die within a short amount of time, what gives anyone else the right to decide that that patient has made a decision to die? If a living will exists yet was made under very different conditions to the ones they now find themselves in whose to be sure the reality of living as a disabled person rather than the hypothetical scenario it once was still holds the same meaning? We can all imagine scenarios, we cannot have a real grasp of anything unless or until we experience it first-hand.

if someone had have asked me in my 20's, what I wanted to do with my life, while perfectly physically able-bodied, the answer would have been to "end it ASAP" If someone asks me now, from the perspective of a chronically ill and severely disabled person, the answer is to not waste another hour that I don't have to. Go with what I've got, and live it all to the glory of God. He will know when my life is no longer worth sustaining, and won't need men's intervention to end it for me.

Terry Schiavo made her statement which her life-ending decision was based upon, when the scenario to her was hypothetical. She died, on the basis of a hypothesis. Is that how any of us should live or die?
--
Posted by A Crazy Calvinist to Ponderizations of a crazy Calvinist--Blagging For England at 3/31/2005 07:34:00 AM |

Interactivity

That may be a newly invented word, not sure, but if so, remember you saw it here first!!

Okay, my interactive thing this time, is not a quiz, or a blog thing, where we all compare results. This is a Deejay original!!

You know how you hear lines from movies, and they stay with you. (or is this a habit others don't have? How would I know?) But anyway, USE your IMAGINATION if not. (Sheesh!)

Well, you hear these lines, and you really want to use them at some point in actual life. I guess I have two faves, tho don't think I'd used either, until recently then did use one.

Rhett Butler where he says to Scarlett O'hara at the end of the movie, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

And Clint Eastwood in the Dirty Harry movie, (why do men actors always get the best most memorable lines huh?) "Go ahead punk, make my day!"

Well, the first one I had wanted to use for over 20 years before finally getting it out a short while ago while having a barney (disagreement) with someone. And since I have a habit it seems of saying something cos one can't think of anything better to say at the time, out it dropped as a disgruntled retort.

The second one, I haven't said, oh I think I may have said it to my dogs at some point, just to practice it. But not really used it.

But you see my point. If you hear a line over 20 years previously, in a movie, and know right from the instant you hear it, that one day you would like to say that to someone, and it takes two decades or more to be spoken, you know that line has to be memorable, and the urge still as strong as on first hearing it.

So, my questoin to my two and a half readers, ;-) is, if you had to choose one or two memorable lines from a movie(s) that you would say at an appropriate time given the opportunity, what would it/they be?

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Tired of sleeping..

Now THERE's an oxymoron!

After waking around one pm, after five or so hours sleep, I got up and spent six of the next nine hours also sleeping which is most grrr making, but on the other hand, those days one can't fight it, you just have to sleep and let it be, as one feels like one swallowed half a bottle of sleeping pills. And I should probably try to head back and sleep more again soon, not because I am short or neccessarily just doggone need to sleep at this point, but to try and prevent a recurrence tomorrow, especially since a friend is visiting from Washington (not the president!) seattle type.

[Edited blog] And as disgruntled as excessive sleeping always make me feel, I better now than for days, possibly weeks, because I also had a timely reminder yesterday to drink water, which I'd gotten out of the habit of, and drinking a gallon or so a day, really offers as much relief from my illness again, as just meds alone.

Oh, and anyone able to get hold of Mrs Bee easier than I at the current time, tell her ole Deejay still got her coffee cup warming!! And is still praying too!! Spocky don't like it without Capt Kirk! And is just waiting to hear those familar words, CLICK when she better.

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Should his Popishness have his feeding tube disconnected, like Terri Schiavo? Or cos he's the pope, does that make it different? CLICK

Also, it maybe Biblical law for a spouse to be the natural next of kin of whomever they marry, yet we all know that many marriages are made in hell, and a spouse would not always be seeking the best good of there marriage partner. So, apart from us all needing to consider that our wishes over such things as living wills and advanced directive are put in writing, and legally binding, I think in the case of if any of us is ever incapatated beyond making our own decisions, who we trust while we do have all our mind working, to make those decisions of life and death if ever we don't, should also be put in writing, at times. Perhaps not, if one can explicitly trust ones spouse and its a marriage made in Heaven, but, we all know how many marriages are anything BUT. Biblical Law over Next of Kin
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The Law is an Ass!

I think it was Will Shakespeare who said that, and frankly, if so, its probably one of the few things I agree with the Bard on.

Johnathon King, former pop mogul, pop singer, TV presenter, and now convicted pedopile, was released from jail today. He served three and a half years of a seven year sentence. What a joke when two young boys lives were devastated by the perversions of this man. He came out of prison today, declaring his innocence, which for victims of that type of crime specifically, is a nitemare all of its own. Going through the process of courts, and telling someone what happened to them, is a pecurliar type of torture all on its own. For them now, after three and a half years, hear this man step out of jail declaring his "innocence" and therefore implicating they are liars, has its own peculiar torment and a feeling of shame they do not deserve to have. This guy was met outside jail by the press, and given immediately back his celebrity status. he's even got a new CD just been finished and released. He was laughing, joking, saying he was convicted wrongly and completely innocent, making plans to get on with his life back in show business, and yet, what were his victims feeling/thinking at this spectacle of depravity?

This guy is given a better press and deal than Michael Jackson. Because this guy was popular, generally well-liked and thought of, and respected within the music industry and generally thought to be quite a decent, ordinary, normal guy. The guy was convicted, and yet the charges of Michael Jackson only have to reach their first whisper, and everyone is up in arms and hanging him out to dry, because he's Michael Jackson and the immediate picture that brings to mind, and not Johnathon King who was found guilty and convicted of these charges. Gary Glitter has been similarly convicted. He'll likely get much the same reception as Johnathon King, because tho a bit outlandish, and camp, hey it was the 70's he was big, and everyone loved to rock with Gary singing he was the leader of the gang.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not defending or saying I think Michael Jackson is innocent or guilty. What I do know, is in the worlds eyes, he's alot more guilty than these two guys who've been accused, tried and convicted, just by someone making the accusations. And that's unfair just by the very nature of it. I don't care if its Michael Jackson or Doris Day!

King told to "Shut up" |

New Age Pics

Signs of the times...

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Sing Along!! Now!!

To the Toon of "God Save The Queen"

Getting more and more wound up as the Royal wedding of ole big ears and his noddy drawers to just a few days away, and seeing someone ask tonite, "God save The Queen"? Where my first thoughts on seeing that question anywhere is, Well, its not what I would personally like to do with her, but ok.

So, on the sombre occassion of ole Big Ears and noddy's wedding draw nigh, Please sing along and whistle while you work, and spread word abroad, that the monarachy is going to the dogs!! (excepting the Royal Corgis out of this of course!)

Bet she don't want no more
Insane daughters-in-law
Causing her pain
Falling opinion polls
Sons scoring more own goals
Camilla Parker-Bowels?
God help the Queen.


She's living on and on
Seems like she'll ne'er be gone
God help the Queen!
But our state's stately head's
Mother, although she's dead
Lived to more than one hundred
God help the Queen!

May she stay in good health
And for the Commonwealth
Stability bring.
But when she's ceased to be
And Charlie follows, he
Will like to know that we
say "God help the King"

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"All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit < in a quiet room alone." Blaise Pascal

People Make Me Lonely.

I've always believed strongly, though can't say for certain when or why this became part of my belief system, but I do and have for eons, that "you can be in a room crowded with friends, and still feel lonely and alone." And this has been so very true in my walk through life. At one time, I could not go anywhere, even the supermarket, and not feel sure that people were staring at or talking about me. And it wasn't an egocentric thing, it was the dread of standing out, or being different to the crowd, and over time it became almost paranoia, and if I was having bouts of hearing audible voices no one else could, hallucinatory activity, this dread would take on a living nightmare as I heard laughter and mocking and taunting, that at the time seemed real, but was manifested by my own brain. But moving on, and before I completely lose where I was going. People make me lonely. It's been a long road to that discovery over the last three and a quarter years, and more noticeably two and a bit years. When ones life is falling apart, you don't want others to be in the same boat you are, but you don't want your nose rubbing in by their tactless flaunting and insensitivity to your overwhelming losses in life which most will take for granted of never losing. When I first was ill, I was a raging bull a lot of the time, taking smacks at people who didn't deserve it, and yet feeling helpless to not be silently raging when loss after loss incurred and medically, emotionally and in any way that mattered felt no one could understand or be a friend to me in such a time of grief and loss. I even wondered for a long time, if my two closest companions both before the illness and still after it developed, stayed out of pity, and not because they cared about me any more, or out of love. And they took smack after smack which in part may have been trying to drive them away, so that if they did go, I would have some control over it, and not be a helpless bystander as they went. Until one day one of them told me I'd made them gun-shy to say anything to do with my situation. Those words stopped me dead in my tracks and pierced my heart. And time has rebuilt something that could have been lost or ruined by my anger at life and taking it out of those who stayed and stuck by me regardless of how angry I was. And yet, in many instances in life, and with other people who think they aid, comfort and console me in some way, they don't. They actually help to make me lonely, the more they are around. I am no longer so raw to the circumstances of my life, that every little thing feels like a knife, but its more than a little annoying when people may spend 30-60 minutes every week or two with you, and they come in, make a completely false assertion based on their very limited and often unrealistic observations, and then deem to offer you advice or tell you what they think you should do, and will think badly of you if you don't, based on these unrealistic observations. Some times, during highly charged emotional times, when things have once again gone from bad to worse, they can immediately reduce me to a sniveling wreck, as soon as the words leave their mouths. And I'm not and never have been the kind of person who cries or sheds tears with other people around. My weeping has almost always been done alone. But yes, people make me lonely, in these instances, as it feels like fools rushing in where angels fear to tread. And when it comes from people who are living rich, healthy, fulfilled lives, who can do anything they please within normal limitations, you want to scream at the injustice of how there crass advice and well-intended yet ill thought out diatribe is a case of "don't do as I do, as I tell you". And "oh if I could walk a mile in your shoes, but I'll never have to, so will tell you what I think based on a purely ignorant opinion." Yes, people make me lonely. Those wounds can go deep when our own lives are falling apart and we are just holding on by a thread from day to day. Unfair expectations is another thing. They think you say you can't do something, with some other motive besides you are not actually able to physically do it right then, or you will put your already fragile health at greater risk. It's as if, ones illness exists to just make a perfect excuse to not do something that others would like us to do. A "no I'm sorry I can't," is not well received and often not heard, or a pause and then the question rephrased in another different, more vague way. And you end up trying to not sound as irritated as one feels, and say, "you're not listening, I can't right now." Which completely throws them, when they are so used to you being compliant to their wishes, and after a few seconds of composing their thoughts, they say "ok," but you know its only a resting point, and the subject will be bought up, more forcefully in the next day or two. And you want to scream, just for some peace and quiet. Whereas alone, you will feel less lonely than in this kind of well-intended but misguided company. When alone, and when my health is only at its normal dreadful levels, rather than terrible dreadful, I am fulfilled, in doing the things I enjoy and communing with people I enjoy and who we mutually give to each other different things in the relationships, and no unfair demands or expectations, or assertions based on things they can't possibly know. A good book, which offers reassurance and shows the love of Jesus, plainly is often better than an hour with one of these misguided often off the mark, "good friends" formerly mentioned. So yes, people make me lonely. Or the wrong types of people do, and yet some of these people were amongst those who I thought we would share the closeness and affinity we did previously till we were no longer both alive. But when you know you are accepting the changes that have taken place in ones life, and accepting is part of adapting to it, you can find ways to enjoy life that one would have thought silly, vain and just plain boring before. The small things in life are the things that mean most. The big things, they no longer matter because they are no longer part of the equation of your life any more. But when you are on the way to accepting the changes, even knowing how far into the grave each worsening can seem to take one, and yet those around you who expect to be given the same rights as friends as they've always had, and they won't accept it, and just make life so much more difficult, by unfair expectations, misguided judgments based on unrealistic assertions, and are totally oblivious as to why you are so curt with them, and in conflict about being in situations which involves letting these friends have a large access to your lives, and if they assume to have some authority perhaps by their standing in the community, job, position etc, and still make the demands that because of their jobs, position, s etc, to say no, risks you all kinds of unfair come backs because of saying no to them, then you realize that aloneness is better than being around people who ultimately, make you feel dreadfully lonely. As aloneness can be fulfilling in what one achieves during it. Being lonely, to the point of it being like a deep festering sore, because you know the cause of it lays at others doors, and there continued interference in things they don't and can't understand, is not fulfilling, and is none-productive, and can only serve to tear a once cherished relationship asunder. When I heard the words of my friend, that I'd "made them gun-shy" my heart was pierced with grief and sorrow, and a longing to put it right, which over time has been done. When I see the syndrome of words without action, except misguided actions based on their ignorant opinion of reality, and just making an already bad situation at times seem unbearable, I long for solitude, to be away from careless hands and the affects that careless words has, especially when there is no sense of what they are doing to this once cherished friendship, So, I pick up my gun to not make them gun shy, but to blow the relationship apart, as to not do so, encroaches on and risks my sanity, by the sheer tactless, and what are hurtful words when living with the reality, and the fact that as long as I stay in the friendship/relationship, I will feel lonely. To remove myself from it, and to be alone is more fulfilling and ultimately less painful.

DISCLAIMER: I look NOTHING like Biggles!!

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Cigarettes, coke, and long, long, nights.

I recall as a young child always having to go to bed way too early. Who goes to bed when its still day light anyhow? And looking back I remember a peculiar smell of those nights, that was associated with bed time for DJ. maybe the sheets dried on the line as nothing smells quite as nice as laundry when dried in the sun outdoors.

Yet my sleeping habits as far as time to go to bed, changed after a couple of accidents, which somewhere along the lines seemed to set the pattern for changing my life. I think folks kept me awake after I was nine, as late as possible, because I was less trouble awake than asleep, when seizure activity would kick off and make sleep impossible not just for me, but for my parents too. So, hey I got seizures and got up to stay up late!!! WooHoo!! But no one would let me watch scary things on the TV saying I would have nightmares forever!! BooHoo!!!

But, I think those early years of seizing while I slept, and being kept up much later than I otherwise would have been, set the pattern for erratic sleep habits for a life time. And back then, as well as now, I can wake up after sleeping a full 12 hours sometimes, and before I've had time to drink my freshly made coffee are asleep again, in my chair, as if I'd took a sleeping pill.

Time passed and I became determined to reclaim my life and the years lost from any kind of normal living, and sleep seemed like it could be time better spent than flat out on ones bed oblivious and doing absolutely nothing through the night hours.

And still at nights I can't sleep. Though this is probably due to some degree by a life time of bad time keeping patterns for sleep, also because I get these large explosions going off in my head which seem to start upon me starting to doze, I often startle at the slightest sound, thinking it is kicking off, and afraid of the affects on waking if it is.. not to mention, pain, twitching and itching...so sleep becomes pretty impossible.

My dad looked in on me twice this morn as I sleep. I went off at after nine am after a full night awake. He said I was scratching my face like" someone possessed", and yet I don't remember and actually thought sleep though late had been a good quality. As often the scratching wakes or disturbs me, or prevents me from sleeping and this morning I was oblivious of it till my dad said.

I used to notice a correlation between full moons and not sleeping at all on those nights. My friends used to joke about my werewolf tendencies in this respect. Yet, often on those night I would go out the following day on no sleep for a 12-14 hour day out, and this was up to within the last five years.

Time changes, circumstances change, and I'm still looking to solve the mystery of sleep. people say don't drink caffeine, and not doing so has made not a scrap of difference. People say drink warm milk, the thought of that makes me gag.

So, I spend the night, thinking, reading, writing, sipping coke or coffee, and still wondering if the mystery of sleep and the proper method of it, will ever be unfolded to me. Which fulfills my desire of not wasting time sleeping I don't need to, and proves to me even in this state of health I can keep going on little or no sleep better than most people can. I occasionally watch TV at night, though infrequently, but still don't watch horror movies of the slash 'em variety, because I know I'd still have nightmares.


So much can change, and yet patterns and habits can be set for life, as can predispositions. |

Don't Convict for being Weird

Its not against the law to be weird, strange, or just a fruitcake like wacko Jacko is. But, does that necessarily equate child molester or is he an easy target?

Its difficult to be sure of what anyone's motives maybe of making false allegations against celebrities, besides the obvious of financial gain and a while in the spot light.

I have no idea if Michael Jackson is a chaild molester. If so, I think he should be strung up and hung, drawn and quartered. But what if the guy is actually innocent of the charges he's facing in court?

Mud sticks, whoever the claims are made against. Someone accused of rape, even if acquitted, is always guilty in the eyes of some, and alot more if honest will say they are not really sure what they believe about the guy in question. A rapist is viewed a lot more tolerantly when his victim(s) are adults than child molesters. I think we all have an immediate gut reaction of revulsion at the thought of proved pedophiles. Whether they be a parent of the child or a complete stranger.

If Michael Jackson is acquitted on these charges, it will likely only be a matter of time before further new ones come to light. A celebrity with the status of Michael Jackson it can only have a snow ball affect. Especially since most of his fame today comes from his weirdness and strangeness. And mankind by enlarge has a propensity to wanting to knock the successful down. If they're rich and famous it makes them an even better target.

Now Michael Jackson may well be guilty of these charges, and if so, lets hang him out to dry. But lets not hang him, just because he's strange, as at some points, most of us would fail at being normal in someone elses eyes.

"The Getaway"

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"An hour's prayer could do more than a day's research." Anonymous Friend of The Crazy Calvinist

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Under Trial

[The author talking of a letter she received from Christian friends in Germany, who had discovered there two sons had both been born brain damaged]

"Here in the midst of the ongoing results of a birth accident (so similar to any other accident as far as cause-and-effect history goes) and the daily affliction of a certain amount of isolation from the academic world, the way is made more difficult by Christian friends who have no understanding of the basic battle going on between God and Satan in the whole of history--and no understanding of the diversity of victories there can be. The most flaming victories so apparent go unnoticed. The common attitude is that the only victory that demonstrates a closeness to God is the healing of physically spoiled or ill bodies, or the smoothing out of all circumstances so as to give ease and peace in day-by-day living. Such false expectations have plunged many people into despair and forced others to ignore what is really taking place.

"After his transformation, dear Paul, who had experienced being on the "other side" (fighting against truth, persecuting Christians and Christ Himself) went through a titanic variety of persecutions and afflictions. For any one of us in the midst of difficulties who needs reassurance, the life of Paul will be a help to us. When questions are thrown against us which add to our suffering, when what we need is comfort, it is time to read First and Second Corinthians again. As we read, we need to use our imaginations to place ourselves in Paul's circumstances. We must not read as if we were simply observing something afar off and irrelevant to our moment of personal history. Rather, we must "feel with Paul" and recognize that the same Holy Spirit who indwelt Paul also indwells us; the same Heavenly Father who heard his prayer and cries for help also hears us; and the same Lord Jesus Christ who was his Lord Saviour is also ours. Paul's constant intercessor was Jesus, and He is also our intercessor, praying for us at the right hand of the Father.
In the fourth chapter of First Corinthians, Paul pleads for faithful stewards among all of us who are "stewards of the mysteries of God." This is to be a stewardship of that which we know and which opens up to us as we continually read the Word of God throughout our lifetime. Paul goes on to ask that none of the Corinthian church people be "puffed up for one against another. For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it? (vv. 6, 7) We are being asked to remember that if we have health, energy, food, shelter, and an abundance of things in the midst of peace to enjoy them, then the need is to recognize that they have been given to us. We have received these gifts for the purpose of being good stewards."

9For I think that God has exhibited us apostles as last of all, like men sentenced to death, because we have become a spectacle to the world, to angels, and to men. 10We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are held in honor, but we in disrepute. 11To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless, 12and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; 13when slandered, we entreat. We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things. 14I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children.1 Cor 4:9-14

"Paul is saying to us, as well as to them, "Do you think you have more faith, live closer to the Lord, know more of the power of the Holy Spirit, and have greater answer to prayer because you live a life that has more comfort, less illness or hardship, less persecution, less slashing criticism, less attacks of Satan in one form or another? If the apostles are fools for Christ's sake, do you think you are more spiritual because you are counted as wise? If the apostles are weak and acknowledge it, do you feel comfortable in counting yourselves as strong? if the apostles are despised on every side, do you feel pride in being honoured in so many ways? As you are well filled with food and drink and have wonderful homes to dwell in, can you look down upon the apostles; reality of closeness to the Lord while they are hungry and thirsty and without a fixed place to live in?"

"As people were reviling and persecuting Paul and the other apostles, could the Corinthians be complacent in their freedom from these things? Can we? What is the criterion for faithful stewardship and a growing Christian life? Is it a stream of deliverances from hardships, troubles, afflictions and persecutions? Or is it more diverse and deeper than that? Listen to Paul's own experiences of victory in the midst of unchanging circumstances. Paul is one who can warn us, as well as the Corinthians. Let us be warned in our practical attitudes and daily actions, as well as the basic understanding of our heads and hearts." [Edith Schaeffer--Affliction pages 40-41] |