Deep Ponderization for This Day

Well, I just worked out why it don't matter that I am never gonna be Brain of Britain, and won't matter in the larger scale of things, how much congitively I may deteriorate over time. God never did want my head.. He wanted my heart. And cognitive stuff doesn't affect one's heart.

~Deejay |

Service Resumed

The reason for this Crazy Calvinist's absense, was the great blagger of blogs, was absolutely blagless and had not a thing to blag about!

Crazy_Calvinist<---blagger of blogs

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Save all your hair... And Shave it off now!

Well, this is a get rick quick that cannot fail. Save each and every hair or shave it off to speed the process up, and you could be as rich as Bill Gates!

E-Bay Auction

Crazy_Calvinist<---will shortly be bald but looking forward to my millions! |

Food Tie Die For. (probably liiterally!)

Now of course, my friends laugh at me, and what they call my "bland diet" But this is one of many rasons I only tried foreign food one. (Chinese Prawn Balls...Ewwwww) And now would not go into a chinese takeaway, as rumour have it, they also serve up cooked pooches! Or cats or just about anyting cute! I do eat some foreign food. MacDonald's and KFC's.. which are distinctly American!!



Food to Die for!
Try a few weeks of eating nothing else but the Japanese delicacy fugu – it may not reduce your weight but, should you survive, you will be so relieved to be alive that you will forget about any weight problem you thought you had.



Fugu is a blowfish that contains, tetrodotoxin, a poison so deadly only licensed chefs are allowed to prepare this dish. It is slightly sweet and perfectly tender making fugu sashimi (slices of raw fish) the most popular recipe for blowfish. Fugu stew, fried fugu, and fugu zosui (rice porridge) will also delight the palate. But even with tight regulation about two people every week die a horribly painful death from wrongly prepared Fugu. This gave rise to an old Japanese folk song which says,
"Fugu wa kuitashii, inochi wa oshishii" or "I want to eat fugu, but I don't want to die."


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Deep Ponderization for This Day! (beware!)

Are you lost in the shuffle or, are you shuffling with the lost?

What is the result when your photographic memory never develops?

Answers on a postcard please! |

You can't fool the fool!!

Well, as I mentioned previously, I have had numerous phone calls from students wanting work experience. And I want any potential employees who may read this to know, I ain't no dumb bunny!! I know all the tricks of the trade for people to avoid actually doing any work at work. And to prove I am fully informed, I will post the best known "How to avoid work" here. Not so you can go ahead and do them, (be a bit dumb would it not?) but to show how well, informed and onto things I am!

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(1) LOOK BUSY: The successful work avoider must look busy, as opposed to being busy. Looking busy involves motion. Getting up, sitting down, moving papers around your desk, opening drawers, closing drawers, opening mail, sorting mail -- all are busy-looking functions with no productivity.

(2) FIGURE OUT THE CHAIN OF COMMAND: A very valuable activity for yourself (but not your employer) is to make a chart of the chain of command in your organization. Even if your employer has a chart, this will not accurately display who has the real power, so make your own.

(3) WRITE MEMOS: Writing memos is one of the least productive things a person can do, as no one actually reads memos. Write a memo to everyone of higher rank than you (on the organizational chart you've spent 6 months making).

(4) READ MEMOS: Many people are actively avoiding work by writing memos in any organization. You can avoid spectacular amounts of work by reading all the memos on your desk, instead of initialing them and forwarding them to someone else.

(5) LEARN COMPUTER PROGRAMS: Many employers will let you take classes in computer software--even if they don't use it in their companies. In fact, most companies have no idea what software they use, so you can book up on PhotoShop, and FrontPage even though you are an accountant.

(6) RUN THE COFFEE POT: The most important job in most offices is the Keeper of the Coffee Pot. This person makes the coffee, and then constantly checks on it to make more coffee, clean out the pots, stock up the cups, refill the sugar containers, and so on. In an office of at least 10 people, this can be a full-time job. However, if you are a new employee, the Keeper of the Coffee Pot will have already been chosen. Therefore you must either get that person promoted, fired, or kidnapped.

(7) WATER THE PLANTS: Many offices have lots of house plants, but no official house plant care company. Take over caring for the plants. Again, this is a position usually occupied by a seasoned work avoider, so the position can only be taken by force.

(8) BECOME THE NETWORK MANAGER: If you are in a smart office which doesn't allow coffee pots or house plants, doubtless there will be networked computers requiring a network manager. You do not have no know anything about computers--few network managers do. Since maintaining the network in an operational condition is impossible (especially if you are truly ignorant of computers) you can spend weeks debugging systems to no useful effect.

(9) TAKE OVER OFFICE PUBLICITY: Every company has a newsletter, with important news about births and death among the employees and who has what for sale. Generally this is a job no one wants to do, which makes it perfect since it requires no skill and produces nothing of lasting value. Also, no one will criticize what you do, as they are afraid they might end up having to do it.

(10) CREATE YOUR COMPANY'S WEBSITE: Many companies do not have website, and think this is magic. Create and maintain your company's website. You will spend endless hours of fun accomplishing absolutely nothing useful for your employer, but you'll get a lot of email. |