The Deathwatch
Saturday, April 10, 2004
I was reading on my friend, Jerry's blog a day or two ago, about time, and how it is a little like the death march. And how true that is.
Time is a funny thing, one may not have any real sense of it, much as I don't, yet its ever present pushing on.
The last week or two, I have an absolute ton of things I want to be a good way to accomplishing over the coming weeks, and yet time in the habit of how it has to trick people, I can spend an hour, (sometimes more) of valuable time, decided which of these things to turn my attention to first on any given day, and feel slightly (no extremely) over-whelmed.
I have commented to friends this last year, that often when thinking of time, and what I would like to accomplish, it now sets off panic buttons, knowing that time does not seem to be on my side. And that aspect will often be enough to pause before taking anything on that will take time and energy and an ability to see it through. None of us knows the day or the hour, yet we do know its nearer than we ever thought possible. If only through the natural aging process.
Days, turn into weeks, and weeks into months. And hours seem to pass by without any real memory of anything during them. It will often only be when looking at a clock at about five am, I realize I should have gone to bed some time ago. My internal time clock is off, and in some ways such as the above instance, it can be a negative thing, in extreme cases being not conscious in the minute to minute living of time, of it passing, helps one forget in the bigger picture. As through issues that don't seem worth worrying about, (if you can't fix it don't fret over it) whether it be memory or thinking on any real level, I have to live in this moment. As that's all I'm sure will stay with me. Some things stay, yet most of it within an short time, is not even a distant memory it is something that happened, to someone else. Someone mentions something, and you have a vague recollection, yet you don't remember details or facts, and its easy to feel like it is a third party event.
A short while ago, The Death Watch Beetles name came to mind. I didn't really know what it is, apart that they make a strange noise and went looking:
We all have that death watch beetle tapping its knocking out. Just most of the time, most of our lives, we are and remain oblivious to it. But tis true that old saying. Time waits for no man.
