What a Flake

Sometimes I feel such a flake. The Lord's day today, and I've been too sick to push on and get beyond it, it sometimes gets that way. Pain can be an awefully distracting phenomena, and it reaches that point where along with other problems, concentration is impossible for reading or understanding anything much one takes in.

I spent many months being angry, yet to what account? As I need every bit of strength I have to just not go under some days, in what life entails. Its hard and wearing and discouraging. And a worse time physically always seems to come right on top of a time of blessedness spiritually. The longer I go on, without remission of any kind, the more I believe our common enemy hates me with a vengeance. Though have no idea why. Its not as if I'm any threat to him in this world or are going to do anything big on God's behalf. But yes, often I feel a flake, because I don't have the ability to do anything much at all. And here alone its also pretty demoralizing in some respects. But the anger that led me to take King Kong on, (metaphorically) was vanity, as I need every bit of fight I have to just survive each day, and I mean that in the most literal sense. Sometimes giving up, seems like it would be so much easier and comfortable day to day. But the enemy would love me to believe that enough to do it. But yes, generally I feel a flake, and second class Christian. Some because of the above, some for other reasons outside of myself. But today has been pretty abysmal and a none starter for keeping the Lord's day as intended or meant or desired. The spirits willing, but the flesh is weak.

As a side note I've put some collapsable boxes on my side bar, (courtesy of flooble) but the feeds for recent entries and recent comments for some reason right now are hit and miss to if they're working. Its not the boxes its the feeds. Firefox also seems not to like them. |