The Way of Affliction
There is a verse in Psalm 119: that says, it was good for me that I was afflicted.
67 Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.
And in many ways that speaks to my entire low estate. I was afflicted and wouldn't bear the yoke so was afflicted some more. And since submitting and bearing the yoke, at times it can still seem unutterably hard. And in some ways, it seems that man is unjust in all their ways, for continuing to increase or add to the burden when I am bearing a yoke when they have not been asked to bear one of similar weight. Its hard to not feel judged for the reality no one I know can understand. And it comes from all areas of life. Often through others sin, (most often) often for other reasons that I can't define as it would only be speculation. And I do pray for deliverance of this horrendously difficult journey. I also pray as above to be quickened, as, because of many things that come into the ball-game, the devil gives a true foundation and the false conclusion, (such as Durham spoke of) that apostasy would be a much easier option. And it can be hard to battle against that, every day when every day can contain such spiritual onslaught when in such a weakened physical condition. I have to rely on God to quicken me, so that when that comes into the arena, tho the temptation can remain, that He won't let me and will help me persevere when every sense around me tells me its pointless too. As a false conclusion will often blight the whole of our perception of something. And I think God does quicken me, by the mere fact I am holding on, and waiting patiently for deliverance, and also trying to follow His precepts and statutes in the most adverse circumstances one can imagine. Its no fun for anyone to be sick for the rest of their life. Its even worse when so abandoned of every natural comfort the world has to offer, and you are often facing what could be your last hours, because you are sicker, and still not a dram of comfort from anyone on earth. And I've seen in some cases how God's statutes have been broken in others dealings with me in my condition. But I know that God does consider my affliction, and I know that we can't work our way to deliverance either eternal or temporal. Yet somehow, keeping on the right path, and knowing one is, and knowing that God promises compassion to His people and that He will deliver them, and knowing how I get taunted by thoughts or temptation of apostasy being the way to get some peace in the here and now, I know its God that keeps me keeping on, as I don't have the power, strength, or capacity to walk through this fire for a day, let alone a week, or a month, or a year. God will rein his people in to subservience in whatever way He sees fit. And whatever enters our lives, good or bad, they are all under His controlling providences, and affliction will either send you reeling completely away from God, or the reverse. If you don't bear the yoke, of existing affliction, then additional affliction can crush you so underfoot, that eventually you do. In some ways, it is like a colt being broken in who kicks and bucks to not let his master ride on its back. As you can kick and buck all you like against the weight of your master, but in doing so, you will either increase the weight, or you can't kick any more and submit and give in, and then if the latter, all you can do is wait, and pray, and plead ones cause before God. And know and believe that HE does consider your affliction, even while it seems mankind doesn't. And that He has his eye on you and a Father's pitying heart. And He will deliver you.
|153Consider mine affliction, and deliver me: for I do not forget thy law.
154 Plead my cause, and deliver me: quicken me according to thy word.
155 Salvation is far from the wicked: for they seek not thy statutes.
156 Great are thy tender mercies, O LORD: quicken me according to thy judgments.
157 Many are my persecutors and mine enemies; yet do I not decline from thy testimonies.
158 I beheld the transgressors, and was grieved; because they kept not thy word.
159 Consider how I love thy precepts: quicken me, O LORD, according to thy lovingkindness. [Psalm 119]
160 Thy word is true from the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments endureth for ever.
