friends, loneliness and spiritual friendships.

I used to think people who admitted to being lonely must be very sad people. Thinking we only needed ourselves and in fact were quite often better off when you never made yourself vulnerable to being hurt, or let down by having friends. My life meant for many years not being around peers. And if you didn't let anyone close, anyone in, they couldn't hurt you, right?

Boy what a totally off the wall view!

People need friends, and to let themselves be vulnerable, and if being vulnerable you survive in that friendship it gives one a confidence new understanding about what real friendship is. And no one is dysfunctional through needing and wanting friends, in fact, they are never more like Jesus who surrounded himself by 12 friends who never really understood Him, or "got it" when he made some deep aching statement deep from his heart. They always let him down, and yet, he loved them, and the friendships of Jesus and His disciples is a prototype to what Spiritual friendships endure and how they grow and the unbreakable chasm that bonds those friendships. When Jesus said in Luke 12 He had come to undergo a baptism and how distressed He was until it was completed, His disciples didn't "get it" at all. And yet, though they didn't get the secrets of His heart, he continued to share His deepest longings and fears and the friendships endured into eternity.

And what kind of friendships except those of the spiritual kind can press you when you don't want to be. Can hold you accountable when you want to do your own thing? But Hebrews 3:13 says exactly how much we need folks to stop us being deceived. Friends don't need to approve of our every move. And if they do, I would feel somewhat suspicious.

Sometimes, I feel so alone in this disease. As A) its so rare and are never likely to meet another person with it face to face. B) I'm housebound for the present and past few months. So these four walls is often all there is, which in this degree of pain can often seem weightier simply cos of being and feeling so alone. The days can be hard, and the nites harder when sleep is so hard to come by.

And sometimes when talking with friends I so feel they "don't get it" and often proclaim this loudly. But had never really considered before that exactly the same kind of scenario in only Jesus understanding really the cup He had to drink, and when He talked lf it with His friends they more or less scratched their heads and certainly didn't really understand it at all.

And the other thing about Spiritual friendships. They are not just made they are discovered. With a centre of truth between you. A common love for God and a common goal in life. Friendships are the one kind of relationship not forced upon you. As if you are in love your whatever you call it that makes you attracted to the other person is forcing the relationship upon you. Family are forced upon us by birth. . But there's that old maxim that you can choose your friends and not your family.

So, yes, sometimes in this disease and everything that goes with it. I feel so alone and it seems to be half the weight of the affliction in coping alone with it for the most part or in a real way. And sometimes my most frustrating moments in the company of friends, can be coos I feel as if they "don't get it" and never will. And Jesus is our best friend too. But loneliness is not a sin or being in any way dysfunctional. Cos if you read the Gospels, and the life of Jesus Christ, we are never more like Him than when we are with friends sharing our hearts and hopes and dreams. And wanting people of like mind, in our lives, is probably the one feeling the one emotion that doesn't have sin at the root of it.

1/10/2005 10:46:00 pm :: ::
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