The Final Insult

Sunday, January 09, 2005

The Shadow People

Great wits are sure to madness near allied -
And thin partitions do their bounds divide

John Dryden

This gave me the eebiejeebies, or as we say to mean the equivalent in the U.K the willies. I was surfing but found it by accident, at a time when these shadows have been jumping out at me, all through the day, all through the nite, and waking me feeling terroized in sleep. Now of course I do not think or even suspect I see these s0-called "Shadow people" are not a dumb bunny you know. It was just the descriptive balance with stuff ongoing for several months now that was uncannily accurate for a piece of hocus pocus. But don't they say truth is stranger than fiction? The Shadow People

Sometimes when this kind of thing is so persistent, as its been there to some degree for over a year, but was very brief, always only at nite, and only ever if exhausted at first. But as its got more persistent since then, and often never stops day or nite, I wonder about if I end up going crazy with this illness. I've been there before, and tho they had no idea what ailed me then, and gave me a wrong mental illness label, is it any better to be truly mad through physical causes? If the phyiscal causes are not going to go away, then it would seem to me that the madness would be permanent. As I noted before on this blog, Click here King George III of England who had the same desease spent over 30 years as mad. And they had no idea what was wrong with him either. It was only a few short years ago, they proved he had porphyria by testing on samples so many centuries after his death. That silly ole kipper would have been perfectly okay, if not for using arsenic to glue his wig on. As that was the factor that by all accounts made him acquire it. I have no intent of going mad. But the factors of long ago, when madness was all there was, and knowing exactly what the affects of this desease can be, and knowing the fate and life of the most famous porphyric in history, along with visual disturbances and hearing things that make no real sense, can't help but have some element of intrepidation. And I guess to me at least, when spending so many years believing I was properly mad, because the quacks got it wrong, and then being given faith and hope through the blood of Christ, and yet not wanting to give up being mad in one sense, and yet being forced to by my new world view, if madness came back in the end, and took hold permanently, somehow it would feel like the final ironic insult.

Psalm 23

1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.[a]
3He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness[b]
for his name's sake.

4Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6Surely[d] goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell[f] in the house of the LORD
forever.[g]