More alternative...
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Wasys to order a pizza!
Don't try this at home!! Tho it is singuarly tempting to!
1. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
2. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
3. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
4. Try to talk while drinking something.
5. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
6. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
7. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
8. Be vague in your order.
9. Use CB lingo where applicable.
10. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
11. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
12. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
13. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
14 Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
15. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
16. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
17. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
18. Put them on hold.
19. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
20. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'." (I like dis one)
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