Thursday, September 23, 2004
What Kind of Love is this?
As mentioned once or twice, or a dozen or more times before, I sometimes watch a TV proggramme in the mornings on British Independent Television called Trisha Normally I avoide these talk/councelling shows like the plague. Yet this woman, clawed her way from out of the inside of a mental hospital herself, after being in abusive marriage to a homosexual man, and whose sister is a suicide Statistic through Schizoprhenia.
Now, she has couples and familes on with problems. Of varying kinds. Distrust, betrayal, paternity proof the list is endless. And sometimes there are just downright hatred in the familes.
I saw one where a 17 year old girl, who had a baby by her partner, told her partner (well no she bawled and shoutted at the top of her voice in a highly psychotic state) that her partner had to choose between her, and his mother. These kinds of scenarios pop up in most places in life. A huband may not like his wives friends. Daughhter or son in law, with mother inlaw or isa versa, or any other of a dozen different scenarios. My own parents, were in the very same situation when first marrying.
But when soemone says to you, its either me or her/him/them, and if someone has some form of attachment, love or deep bond with, what kind of love does the person who makes the demand experience, if they think it can be so easily picked up and put back down? Now this is a mystery to me at least. I could not have chosen amongst most of my dogs let alone someone in that kind of situation. But like the partner of this seventeen year old girl, who told him it was her or his mother, if you are weak, love don't come to into it, but cow tailing to keep someone else happy at the cost of your own misery. The guy in this proggie chose his girlfriend, who was totally irrational, only ever shouted, and hated his mother. His motehr was perfectly reasonable, and so forth, and he said he just wanted them to get along. But, if made to choose he would choose his girlfriend. They had a son, he was learning how to be a man from his weak father, and if this situation goes on along time, he will learn how to be weak also.
Sometimes, one wonders why folks bring kids in the world to then go on and by the situation they bring them into, can't BUT totally mess them and their lives up.
The kind of misery that both the father of the child and the child themselves, will no doubt end in more heartache and misery, and one become captive not just to the cowtailing of someone so forceful, but of ones own pent up emotions that never quite get relased in any form. I looked at that young 21 year old guy, and saw a future statistic. One only bound in tragedy, and what a legacy to leave a child.
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