(see what a gorgeous hunk this Botexed guy Kerry is tho, at bottom of this blag.. now don't swoon gels, I know tis hard, but try not to!!)

JOHN KERRY's RESUME

Crazy Calvinist's Resume

John Kerry





Education

College



I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.



Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an MBA.



Experience

Law Enforcement



I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator.



I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.



Military



I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam.



I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers.



I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest.



Or did I?



My first book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier" shows how I truly feel about the military.

Crazy Calvinist: Education:

Finished at nine. So to be B.O.B. despite that, must make me a genius?

Unlike Kerry or Bush, (Monsoiurs) I have no higher education or lower education, didn't get admitted to Harvard either, but did get admitted to umpteen psychiactric hospitals!#

Crazy Calvinist's Experience

Yes.

I voted to take over the asylum and to overthrow the British Queen.

I ordered, dad to NOT use the chip pan to fry my chips, and to NOT endanger my neighbour lives.

Crazy Calvinist's Military

I have war wounds. (am a real heroine, if ever there was one!)

I thought Tom Cruise was awefully cute in ÿ¿A Few Good Menÿ¿

I once stomped on my older brothers toy soldier.

Past Work Experience

I spent several years as Lt. Governor of Mass. to Michael Dukakis.

Past Work Experience

I spent years learning how to be a professional crazy, in the knowledge this would hold me in good stead for running a country as big and bootiful as America!

I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since.



I have no real world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.



Accomplishments as US Senator



I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton.



I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself.

Crazy Calvinist's Accomplishments as a crazy

I ran for a bus and are still recovering

I have loads of experiences. Just none I care to talk about.

Crazy Calvinist's Accomplishments:

Give me ten years, I'll think of something! Am not Brain of Britain you know!

I have consistently been unsuccessful in evey attempt to be normal!

In my career as a US Senator, I have voted to

cut a combined $19 BILLION dollars from our intelligence gathering capabilities. Most of which was after Al Qaeda introduced themselves in the mid 90's.



Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it.



I voted for every liberal piece of legislation.



I have no plan to help this country, but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.



My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up.

Crazy Calvinist's Career

In my career.. well I ain't had a career yetbut after I done' 4 years as U.S.

prez, will have something interesting to put on my resume then!

8/04/2004 01:06:00 am :: ::
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