Thursday, June 17, 2004
It seems to me, that apart from Glorifying God and enjoying Him forever, that people were created in a huge part to love and be loved. I had a discussion with someone over twice my age a few nites ago, and he said he wasn'tmade to love, he wasn't made "that way" And I can't say in his earlier life, but don't think either, because of this mindset of his, he may have ever felt anyones real love towards him. He's a hard person to love even a little. The "happiest days of his life" were spent during WWII where he was out of danger but in the army. The happiest days of his life were spent before he had a wife and family. I think that says a lot about his view on life and love. Yet, he seems okay for it, in Himself. His mind is sound.
Yet it also seems to me, that after x number of years of not being loved and no one to love, that could very well be the source of true insanity. Especially if most all else there is pain of varying degrees about a life that was lost, and taken by others more than anything else. I've never feared my sanity, except once over 20 years ago, when rather than live with the pain life had caused, suicide seemed the best choice. It was probably the illest I remember feeling, and most miserable time of my life. Until now.&nbs,p; A dog in the house who loves you and you only have to look into there big brown eyes to see it, and who can help but to love a helpless animal back. That may not sound much, and I think its little to desire, as without the ability to give and recieve love, and stuck in the house more or less 24/7 insanity seems a real possibility. Confined to bed,for now through doing a sommersault in my w/chair, on Sunday, confined to the longings for changing things, past as well as present. In a loveless house and a loveless world. I used to always think, that by enlarge this was a world without love, and the older I get the more it seems true. And what value is a life without love? A puppy would be enough. But no, not a possibility. Love, life happiness, puppies, belong to other people. locked away from the world, from life, love and happiness and puppies, is all there seems to be. And seeing as God is getting no glory from this, I can see no point to it. God can't be glorified, by you, if you're away from the world.
Lyrics for: A World Without Love
I won't stay in a world without love
Please lock me away
And don't allow the day
Here inside, where I hide with my loneliness
I don't care what they say, I won't stay
In a world without love
Birds sing out of tune
And rain clouds hide the moon
I'm OK, here I stay with my loneliness
I don't care what they say, I won't stay
In a world without love
