Wednesday, April 28, 2004
I hate sin, particularly my own.Well, any females who read this blog may relate on some level. (sorry guys) but don't you hate it, when huge mountains seem to have been moved and herculean efforts that could only be powered by God, and it was a blessing to all parties, and then the dreaded PMS hits, and you seem to drown in your own moodiness, irritability and general bad temperedness. Particuarly, when the specific relationship is the only one at that time, that brings out those sinful qualities. A careless word or action by the other person, and you feel the hurts over many years being re-inforced yet again, and feel yourself drowining in grief and pain from the long distant past, and knowing the person is part of the equation, if not directly, you find all the above emotions on full display and as much as you try to reign it in, you feel yourself failing dismally. and even while being irritable, you know that the past good weeks in trying to repair what seemed irripairable, is suffering some causalty cos of the present.
And I'm not saying PMS is a catchall excuse for sin. Not at all. I just hate the way at this time, I at least seem prone to more sin of the above kind.
15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[3] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. |
